Been feeling very fuzzy lately.
I dunno why...
I treasure & love my family, but sometimes, most of the times... the more i give in, the more unreasonable they get. thinking everything i do or give in is took for granted cause i'm the only one left. I know they are accomodating to me... give in to me as well.. but not controlling my life. Not too protective... not too kpkb.
I know, understand & heard everyone telling me.. take good care of them. think of them. put urself in their shoes.
"You are the only one left"
"You are all they got"
I KNOW! how can i not know? such obvious FACT doesn't need reminders from other people. Of coz I know i'm the only one. If not, there will be another bed in the house, if not there will be another laughter in the house, if not there will be another pair of ears to listen to me.
BUT! who is putting theirs in my shoes?
i'm not saying i'm always right. Yes, I have a very very bad temper and sometime attitude. however, that's the way to stop them from talking & nagging & CRYING!
I hate that... i hate it when she cries... like everyone in the world owe her... like I have to pity her... coz she lost a daughter? for GNS, i lost a sister.
"i already lost one already... How u like tat"
Die. Die. Die. Everytime. Everytime and i meant EVERYTIME! we argue, quarrel, angry with each other. she will start saying stuff that will surround dying topic.
Always and always.
I hate it!! hate it... hate it~ can't wait to get the hell out of the house.
not because of anything. But i hate the word die! she should know better than anyone else. I'm now sensitive to that word. I hate people that dun appreicate life.
Isn't we suppose to an wei each other? but we nvr talked about it.. I dunno why, cause we are afraid of crying? cause we still can't accept the fact? too many maybes, dunnos & causes. It's too tiring for me to think about it. Let alone talk about it.
Nobody understands. Not family, not love, not frenz.
Or maybe it's just me that is difficult to understand.
Family nvr talks.
Tell Kee. He ignores or meant i think too much
Frenz can't tell.
That all it is in life.
Everyone seems to have a goal in life.. What's mine?
I dunno... I still have to revolve it ard family.. Eventhough i seems as thou i dun care. But having serious thought about it... which of my decisions and choices doesn't consider them? I dun dare to say all... cause nobody can do that. and i'm not that heroic & wei da... but definitely most of my choices.
maybe nobody knows. nobody will ever know. But it doesn't matter.. Just stop kpkb so much.
I know my life. Eventhough i don't have a goal right now. I know what Í'm doing.
shouldn't they have thought of that? Their daughter that went thru independent life throughout her teens when i need them the most? But i understand & still help to take care of ah jean.. So what's there to worry about now after all these that have happened.
anyway... this or that will nvr change things... so no point.... pointless...~
Minyi jie is finally back after 2 months stay in perth. super shiok. but seems as thou alot of thing happened. Weili Jie is too busy to take good care of her health.
Everyone must take care.
complaining...
Kathy~